Cream Cheese Coffee Cake

Business on the outside, party on the inside

I feel like I don’t need to say anything about this because the pictures say enough, but since I know you are reading this for my witty commentary I will grace you with my notes and banter.

This is another one of those cakes that weighs an uncomfortable amount of weight. Like the uncomfortable amount of weight where you eat one slice and automatically are like, “Hmmm..I just put one whole pound of food into my body which means my body is now one pound heavier.” This is a concerning feeling. Unfortunately, the best things in life are made with butter. And LOTS of it.

I can’t blame anyone but myself for making 300lb cakes because I don’t know when to stop. This recipe was originally just a cinnamon swirl cake. In the beginning there was cinnamon and cake. And then Meg said let there be streusel. And so there was. And then Meg said let there be cream cheese. And so there was. And then Meg looked upon her work and smiled. And gained five pounds. Enjoy!

*Please note that my rash last minute decisions call for me to make up my own recipes where I don’t use exact measurements. I have done my best to estimate what I used exactly to make this cake unnecessarily over the top J

INGREDIENTS: FOR THE CAKE

1 cup butter p 2 3/4 cups white sugar 4 eggs 2 teaspoons baking powder 1 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon salt

2 cups sour cream 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 4 cups all-purpose flour

DIRECTIONS:

1.	Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Lightly grease one bundt pan.
2.	In a large mixing bowl cream together the butter and 2 cups of the sugar until fluffy. Add the vanilla and the eggs one at time beating mixture well after each egg.
3.	Combine flour with baking powder and baking soda. Add alternately with sour cream to egg mixture. Beating just enough after each addition to keep batter smooth.
4.	Spoon ½ of the batter into the pan. Add cream cheese mixture. Pour the rest of the batter over the cream cheese. Sprinkle with the streusel.
5.	Bake at 350 degrees F for 30 minutes or until center is done. Let cake cool in pan for 10 minutes then remove pan and let cake continue cooling on a wire rack.

You don't want to over-mix your batter or your cake will be chewy. Keep your OCD tame and embrace the flour bombs!

INGREDIENTS:FOR THE STREUSEL

1/2 cup butter (slightly softened) 1 cup brown sugar ½ cup flour 2 tablespoons ground cinnamon

DIRECTIONS:

1.	Cut the butter into small cubes (to make easier to crumble) and add to a small bowl
2.	Add brown sugar, cinnamon, and flour to butter cubes. Mix carefully with your hands or a dough mixer until ingredients are thoroughly combined. The mixture should be crumbly but hold shape if squeezed in your hand. Sprinkle on top of the second layer of the batter.

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Call me Drake 

INGREDIENTS: FOR THE CREAM CHEESE MIXTURE

1 package of cream cheese softened 1 cup powdered sugar 1 tablespoon vanilla

DIRECTIONS:

1.	Cream all the ingredients with a hand mixer until light and fluffy.                        Cream cheese goodness!

I promise this isn't burnt.

Triple Chocolate Cake

So remember how I admitted I love box cake? Here is a recipe that takes box cake to the next level and will trick people into thinking that you made it from scratch. I have actually made this one before so I knew how delicious it was. Sometimes I like experimenting with healthy alternative recipes because I like to have my cake and eat it too. As in, I want to be skinny but still eat cake. This is unfortunately not one of those recipes. No matter which way you spin it…greek yogurt will never produce the same dense,thick, and fudgy chocolate cake that I want. (PS I don’t know how to spell fudgy.Fudgey? MS Word keeps telling me they are both wrong. I hate misspelled words and that squiggly red line is really ruining my day but I can’t use any other word to describe it!)

This cake is best made in a bundt pan but I could also see this being made in a bread loaf pan. I suggest this only because there is so much flavor to the cake, you will not want to frost it. Bundt pans make pretty cakes and I feel professional when I have good presentation instead of just taking bites out of the pan with a plastic fork. This is a very rich and heavy cakes so don’t be surprised when you take it out of the oven and it feels like you are picking up a small child. Speaking of children…if you do want to add something sweet to the cake, I suggest using warm raspberry jelly. I actually learned this trick from my friend who had a cholic baby so she could not have dairy. She used to use heated jelly instead of frosting on cakes and breads and it was surprisingly tasty. Except eating dairy free food all the time is certainly not tasty. Remind me again to never have kids please!

INGREDIENTS:

1 (18.25 ounce) box devil's food cake mix 1 (5.9 ounce) package instant chocolate pudding mix 1 cup sour cream

1 cup vegetable oil 4 eggs 1/2 cup warm water 2 cups mini semisweet chocolate chips

DIRECTIONS:

1.	Preheat oven to 350 degrees F
2.	In a large bowl, mix together the cake and pudding mixes, sour cream, oil, beaten eggs and water. Stir in the chocolate chips and pour batter into a well greased 12 cup bundt pan.
3.	Bake for 40 minutes, or until top is springy to the touch and a wooden toothpick inserted comes out clean. Cool the cake thoroughly before removing from the pan.